“Recovery Begins from the Darkest Moment”

So this summer, I am working full time – it kinda sucks. I feel like I have no time to have fun, plus, I’ve been doing data entry for the longest time and I just get so bored doing it. But I do get paid a little more than minimum wage, so it’s good enough for me.

The reason why I am working full time is because I need to save up money. A lot of money.

At the beginning of the year, I signed a lease for an apartment with three of my friends. It seemed like a good idea because it was cheaper than the dorms and we could actually cook our own healthy meals. There were a lot of pros. After a while though, I started to actually think about the cons because I’m pretty sure we ovelooked them. Before I had signed the lease, I made sure that I would be able to pay for it. It worked, and I found that it was possible to pay for it.

Two of my roommates have their parents paying their rent, and me and my third roommate are paying for it on our own. But eventually, she found a way to get free housing, so she took it. The problem is, she needs to find someone to sign her lease, and as of now, none of us think that she is going to. It’s kind of late, and the apartment we are going to live in next year is one of the most expensive.

And then there’s me. Thinking about it, I have no idea how I came up with a good plan to pay for it. It’s so much money! And so now, I’m freaking out. Big time. I’m working as much as I can (might even get two jobs) just to ensure that I can pay for my mistake. As usual, I made a pros and cons list to sort my thoughts out. Here is what I came up with:

Pros:

-Furniture included

-Water, gas, electricity, etc. included

-right next to campus

-very nice rooms

-cheaper than the dorms

-able to cook our own meals

Cons:

-There is a cap on the electricity and my friend informed me that it is common to go over

-Might not have time to cook meals all the time

-most expensive living area

Yes, there are more pros than cons, but money is usually 90% of my decision, and this time, I had ignored it. I think another reason why I had said yes was because they were offering a discounted price for a certain number of people, and we had taken the last spot. We had to decide by the next day if we wanted to sign the lease or not. So I guess I felt pressured. Which, looking back on it now, if a company makes you feel that way, they are probably not the best company to go with.

But, I learned my lesson. Never again will I feel pressured to do anything again, I will think about it thoroughly and think about how it will affect me. There is no way to get out of the lease now, so the only thing I can do is look forward. There really is no point in dwelling on it. What I should be thinking is “okay, what do I need to do to get through it?”

“Recovery Begins from the Darkest Moment” is a quote by John Major, a British politician. For me, this is probably the darkest moment that I have been in. It scares me immensely. I have never been in a situation where I believed in a possibility of failure. Always, I have thought positive. But for a while now, I have been so down thinking about what might happen, that I might not have enough money. Only recently have I started to think positively and have started to work my way towards recovery. And it began at my darkest moment.

This applies to any situation, though. If you feel like this is rock bottom, like you can’t see where you’re going to end up from where you are now, at your darkest moment, then it most likely is. But that doesn’t mean that things aren’t going to get better. No, you can’t see the light right now, but you will.

You need to work towards recovery, you need to have at least a little bit of hope. Find someone that will help you get through it. Think about all your options, pick the best one, and just go for it. What do you have to lose?

My featured image is of me zip lining in Hawaii. Every time that I am feeling down, I think back to how I felt during that trip. It was literally Hakuna Matata, I felt absolutely blissful. I think about how that is going to be what I am feeling after I figure this problem out, after I finish paying for this apartment. I want that feeling back. And I know that I’ll definitely be smarter about my decisions before I make them now.

So when something goes wrong and you find yourself in the deepest, darkest part of your life, sit down. Sit down and think about your problem. Be sad for a little bit…okay, a lotta bit. But then fix it – go out and think of what you can do to fix it. And if that doesn’t work, try again. Find something or someone to motivate you.

You always have to have a starting point – so why not start now?

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